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| Dumbledore: | Welcome back to another year of Hogwarts! |
|---|---|
| Dumbledore: | I actually don't know why your parents still send you here |
| Dumbledore: | There's like a 30% chance you'll die tragically |
| Dumbledore: | And it just goes up every year |
| Dumbledore: | I guess that just means all your parents hate you |
| Dumbledore: | Great let's have some pumpkin juice |
| Dumbledore: | 30 points go to Griffindor for Harry's breathing techniques |
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the whitest moments in recorded history
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